Let’s Talk About Sex (or anything else, really)
As a fat person, I am clearly biased against The Talk. And no, I don’t mean explaining sex to your child, but god, I’d rather have to explain the Kuma Sutra to my son’s first grade class than engage in The Talk. And maybe it’s my own self-consciousness emphasizing the issue, but it seems I can’t escape it: those thin, beautiful people talking incessantly at every opportunity about food, fat, weight, exercise and the size of their ass/thighs/abs. Usually all the above mixed together with fake self-deprecation of their own beautiful selves.
“I biked to Iowa and back last night trying to get rid of this lard!” laments Thinnest Legs in the Department, slapping a hand on her slim thigh, which makes a sound like skin hitting steel. “Oh god, I know. I just ate this HUGE lettuce leaf and feel like a total blob. I’m totally going to work out for 4 hours tonight instead of my regular 2,” confides Flattest Abs I Have Ever Seen. “I just wish I knew of a good non-fat, non-carb, non-sugar, no calorie salad dressing,” interjects Does Not Need to Lose a Pound. “I need to lose at least 2.35 lbs but I’m getting tired of plain greens. I tried spritzing lemon water on it, but it just didn’t provide enough flavor.”
“Well,” tentatively offers Fat Girl (me), “if you dip your fork into the dressing first, you get the flavor but with less the calories.” This comment is met with blank stares that slowly dissolve into Pity Look for the Fat Girl Acting Like She Knows Anything About Getting Thin. “Oh, no!” exclaims Thin Legs, “That would just make your just salad sopping with fat!” Confirming nods from Flat Abs and her friend, coupled with a little bit of smugness. “No,” maintains Fat Girl, now reverting to a tone of voice that she hopes conveys “you are morons”. “Obviously you don’t dip the fork with the salad already on it into the dressing. However, if you dip the tines of your fork into the dressing before spearing the salad, you get flavor, but less intake of the fatty dressing.”
Now the stares are more disbelieving than anything, knowing it sounds right but coming from the mouth of Fat Girl makes it less believable. Like, if I know so much about tine-dipping and salad dressing, the size of my ass should reflect this knowledge. I now regret even this small engagement in The Talk. One, because I don’t effing care and there are other things more interesting to discuss than their non-existent fat; two, because it reinforces their belief that other people care about this inane conversation; and three, because I always feel obligated to get to the Must Justify segment. “It’s something my father-in-law used to do when he was trying to lose weight,” I throw in. “Oh…” Now I receive understanding and acceptance. Because this comment has confirmed a popular belief that The Fat do not know anything useful about food, fat, weight, and exercise. To the contrary, this Fat Girl probably knows a bookstore more than her thin counterparts. It’s not the knowledge that’s the problem, it’s the implementation.
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Loved your blog. It’s so true about skinny people. They seem to think that bigger people know very little about food. Truth be told, we probably know more. We know how to read food labels. We understand nutritional content and calories. We just have to get portions and exercise under control.
Spot on girlie
Fantastic blog!! Soooo true and soooo funny!!
I have been around those people too and it is so true how they act. No one ever took me seriously when I talked about food or health but when I started to lose weight they all wanted to know what I was doing and asked for my advice. I even had someone at work question me why I was losing weight? The way she asked just put me off. It was like she was jealous or something that I started going to the Y and eating healthy…I don’t know why. I just told her I always start off with the right attitude of losing weight at the beginning of the year and she dropped it.
I often feel this. Especially as a nurse. I have all the knowlege one needs to maintain a good healthy lifestyle. Yet when I try to “teach” others about nutrition/diet, exercise, or health and so forth……they take one good look at me, and I can just sense what they are thinking. I’ve even heard it before…..”if you know so much, shouldn’t you be healthier?” OUCH!
So what! I haven’t exactly been practicing what I preach. Okay I know this…. but that might have been cuz I was too busy taking care of others to notice my ass was 10 times to big….LOL
Well, not anymore…
We all know exactly WHAT to do…it’s just DOING it that is the problem! haha! Girls that have never had to once in there life deal with the issue just don’t understand. “Bippie-tards”, that’s the name a friend and I came up with for those types…haha!
I’m on my way to Iowa now, I need those thighs! LOL I think that’s the implementation you were speaking about!
I have so listened to that kind of conversation all over the playground at my kids school too…lol I guess it is the same all over
As always, great blog. Soooo true. I too know tons of knowledge about food, nutrition, and exercise. I just have a hard time doing what I say.